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Lifestyle
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Baby not on Board!
As children around the world thank their mothers for all their love and care on Mother’s Day, Anu Gulmohar takes a look at people who are choosing to stay childfree…
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 We want a baby just like that from you!” she said as she poked me in my ribs and pointed at a newborn’s picture. Not a fortnight had passed since my wedding and people were already thinking of names of my unborn children! After marriage, parenthood is assumed to be a logical progression, and many begin to attempt filling into the shoes of a parent without pausing to think whether the voice they hear urging them to have a child is really theirs or just the cacophony of in-laws and well-meaning friends. But worldwide, the trend is changing. Men and women have been choosing a childfree life, where they prefer being labelled childfree to childless because they’re childfree by choice and not incapable of conceiving a baby. And supporting their choice are surveys like the one conducted by University of Denver, which concluded that 90 per cent of couples experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction after the birth of their first child! Mother’s Day begs the question, whether you’re a mother because that’s what you really wanted… and to give that couple in their 30s at your workplace or neighbourhood with no child as yet, some breathing space…
Laura S Scott, author of "Two is Enough: A Couple's Guide to Living Childless by Choice", which will be out in US in October, speaks of her personal experience, “I was in my mid-teens when I first articulated my desire to remain childless. I was born and raised in urban Canada and I graduated college at a time when women were
being assimilated into the workplace. I could, and did, find financial autonomy and security as a single, childless woman. I, later, fell in love with a man who did not care if he had children and was inclined to remain childless because it gave him the
freedom to travel and pursue a career in international
sales and later take the
financial risks required to
be an entrepreneur.”
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 Having done his bit of parenting rather early in his life as he helped raise his mentally-challenged younger brother, and with little hope of ever going to college
because of not being economically sound, Fred (from Phoenix, Arizona) told me that he had foreseen a life of being stuck in a blue-collar job, and that he decided that he did not want any children when he was only 15. “I obtained a vasectomy just before my 22nd birthday. I am very proud of that choice!” says Fred. “Today, I am 43. I could not ask for a better life. I am a software
developer. I have little debt.
I have many stamps in my passport. I own a Rolex. I cannot say the same for my friends who have children.”
The concept of being childfree might leave many Indians aghast and understandably, people childfree by choice here are not as vocal about their decision as in western countries. Childfree people around the world though have been seeking similar-minded people through social clubs and websites. No Kidding is a social group with chapters in countries like US, Spain, China and New Zealand. LT Ciaccio from No Kidding told TSI about its members, “Here in New York, there are people
of different ages, of all differ ent ethnic backgrounds, they tend to be very open-minded people. People are open to going out, to see new kinds of art, galleries and books, and try new kinds of foods like Ethiopian food, so it’s a lot of fun. They’re very accepting of all different kinds of religions and ideas. But outside of that, the childfree people are very different. Some are very
conservative, some really like kids and are teachers; some try to have a more adult-centred life, there is a lot of
variety within the people.”
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Comments
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Akash From Baroda--
2/1/2010 1
Good article. I am a childfree indian and do support it for many wise reasons.. Would be nice if you can direct me to P. Srivastava. Thanks
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